Everything wrong with my quarter-million-mile 528i

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 07/28/2016 at 12:53 • Filed to: None

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Prepare yourselves:

Both front struts are blown

Front crank seal oozes a bit

Exhaust support is rattling.

Still throwing code for a cam sensor after I’ve replaced it

Still throwing code for a wheel speed sensor after I’ve replaced it

Traction control off button doesn’t work

Sunroof is out of alignment and makes hella wind noise

Sunroof only slides, won’t tilt. Likely related to previous entry

Driver’s window squeals when it’s hot out

Remote doesn’t work. The problem is not with the remote.

Front badge is missing

Headlights have condensation even though seals are in perfect condition

Headlights are hazy

Rear cupholders are broken

Front paint is all chipped

Bumper is slightly split because it’s about an inch lower than the average parking curb

Plastic undertray is missing

CD changer is jammed.

Shifter is kind of sloppy

Party-vi > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/28/2016 at 13:08

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Did you check the bulb sockets on the headlights? Probably where your moisture is coming in. Also, disconnect your CD changer and get a Bavsound Soundplicity so you can integrate your phone.

Bytemite > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/28/2016 at 13:09

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Wow that’s honestly not too bad for an old BMW.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Party-vi 07/28/2016 at 13:09

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Already have a solution to the phone audio problem. It’ll probably make you mad tho.

Party-vi > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/28/2016 at 13:09

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wassat

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Party-vi 07/28/2016 at 13:11

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Party-vi > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/28/2016 at 13:12

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lord jesus

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Party-vi 07/28/2016 at 13:14

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Hey, the sound quality is almost CD level and I only have to charge it once per week. It works for me.

The cassette deck is behind a hatch too so it’s completely inconspicuous.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/28/2016 at 13:17

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My 260k mile old 1999 E38 740i Sport

- Rusted bottoms of doors

- Bank 1 VANOS actuator failed

- front cupholder broken (still mostly working though)

- headlights hazy

diplodicus > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/28/2016 at 13:40

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I have an e39 also, and my remote unlock and trunk buttons were working, but not the lock button. I started messing around with fuses. For some unknown reason when I removed the fuse for the cigarette lighter circuit, my remote lock button began working. So mess with your fuses and see if your remote starts working.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > diplodicus 07/28/2016 at 14:36

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I’ve actually gone into the ECU and it says that there is a communication issue between the main computer and keyless entry module.

diplodicus > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 07/28/2016 at 15:38

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How do you get into the ecu?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > diplodicus 07/28/2016 at 15:41

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I have access to a $2,000 scantool.